Sexual Trauma Awareness in Menstrual Cycle Coaching
A personal story by our founder, Lisa de Jong
Introduction: Several years ago, I embarked on a journey to deepen my understanding of trauma through training in a popular body-based trauma modality. As someone deeply invested in menstrual cycle coaching, I knew I needed to level up my skills to better serve my clients. However, what I didn’t expect was how this journey would uncover significant gaps in the way trauma therapy is often approached, especially when it comes to working with women who have experienced sexual violence.
The Experience: As part of the trauma training, I was required to undergo my own therapy sessions. I built a trusting relationship with my trauma therapist and eventually gathered the courage to bring up a past sexual violence trauma in our sessions. While the therapist was doing his job, something went wrong—something that left me completely retraumatised.
In one of our sessions, the therapist unconsciously overrode my consent, guiding the session in the direction he thought was best. Because I trusted him, I went along with it. However, this mirrored exactly what had happened in the original trauma, leading to a deep emotional spiral that lasted for six weeks. I struggled to keep it together and fell into a deep depression, questioning not only the therapy but also the training I was undergoing.
The Realisation: After processing this experience with my supervisor, I realised that the issue wasn’t just with this one therapist—it was indicative of a broader problem in the way trauma therapy and women’s health coaching is often taught and practiced. The training lacked critical components like teaching about consent, understanding internalised victim-blaming, and recognising the unique needs of women who have experienced sexual violence.
I raised these concerns with the organisation and the head teachers, only to be met with resistance. Ultimately, I decided to leave the training, heartbroken but determined to make a change.
Why Consent Matters: The experience made it clear to me how essential consent is in trauma-informed practice. Consent isn’t just a checkbox—it’s the cornerstone of creating a safe and supportive environment for healing. When practicioners fail to honour consent, even unintentionally, they risk retraumatising their clients, as happened in my case.
This is especially critical when working with women who have experienced sexual violence. Their trauma is often deeply intertwined with issues of power, control, and consent, making it crucial for practicioners and facilitators to approach their healing with a nuanced understanding.
Bringing This Understanding to the Menstrual Coach Academy: Despite the pain and frustration of this experience, it also fueled my passion for creating a trauma-informed space within the Menstrual Coach Academy. Here, we are committed to teaching our students not only how to support their clients through menstrual health challenges but also how to do so in a way that honours their experiences and safeguards their emotional well-being.
In our trauma module, we focus on:
Understanding the link between trauma, menstrual symptoms, PMDD, and chronic pain.
How to work with consent in the coaching relationship to minimise the risk of retraumatisation.
Responding to disclosures of sexual violence with safety and compassion.
Knowing how and where to refer clients without making them feel dismissed.
Holding a safe space for your own trauma wounds while supporting your client’s process.
Working with consent in group facilitation and business practices.
Conclusion: The journey I went through was challenging, but it gave me invaluable insights that I now bring to my work at the Menstrual Coach Academy. It’s my mission to ensure that the women who come through our programmes are equipped not just with knowledge, but with the understanding and skills necessary to create a truly safe and empowering space for their clients.
If you’re ready to deepen your understanding and create a more trauma-informed practice, I invite you to join us at the Menstrual Coach Academy. Together, we can make a difference.